Sorry it’s been a while since my last entry. Being back to work full time has been great but drains most of my energy. The hardest pill to swallow is the lack of energy and ambition to do the things I used to live for. Piper once called me the Energizer Bunny, now I’m more like Sleepy the dwarf.
Immunotherapy is a treatment similar but different than chemo and it comes with it’s own drawbacks. The way it works is it trains your own cells to fight the cancer cells. Sometimes, these crazy, jacked up cells forget what they are supposed to do and turn on healthy tissue. Please stay away from my lonely kidney is all I could think. My current schedule is a 3 hour session every 3weeks. This lasts for 12 weeks total. My first treatment was on June 3rd and it went well. 2 weeks in, I started feeling some of the side effects. First was the fatigue. Secondly the joint pain and stiffness kicked in. Lastly is the nausea. All of this is completely manageable at this point and I still feel lucky to be in as good of shape as I am.
My birthday was extra special this year and it lasted for like 4 days. The weekend kicked off with an overnight camping party with friends and ended with a cozy dinner at the Colden Inn. I have the best friends in the world. Not only did they set up the whole back room for my dinner party, they also showered me with generous gifts. I was beyond words. As I got closer to my next treatment, the sick feeling and fatigue was starting to ramp up.
My second treatment went well even though I think Roswell had their “B” team scheduled that day. The nurse turned my right hand into a pincushion trying to get my line in. She called in a pinch hitter. The new nurse got me rigged up though my left hand. It’s not the poke that gets me, it’s the strange feeling of an inch long tube threading up the vein that gives me the heebie jeebies. No window seat this time but it was very quite on the 5th floor. The treatment went well but the side effects developed much quicker this time. The heat amplifies everything. I’m so glad we decided to put central air in the house this year thanks to our Covid stimulus checks.
The world seems pretty crazy these days. The news has nothing good to report and the light at the end of the tunnel seems pretty dim. I can’t remember a time when everything was so unsettled. Balancing everything is a chore and some folks are really struggling. Again, I feel very lucky to have my job and more importantly good health care. There are times when I really miss Sliders and my wonderful customers but, I would be seriously screwed right now if I was still in that position. Everything DOES happen for a reason. While cancer will most likely end my life before my time, I’m still one of the luckiest guys around.
One reason I’m so lucky is the support from my beautiful wife. Why she hasn’t smothered me in my sleep, I’ll never know. I unintentionally make her the punching bag for all of my issues, and there are a lot theses days. I know I’ve hurt her feelings but she shakes it off and still waits on me hand and foot. I hope she knows how much I love her and how crappy my life would be without her. All of you guys out there should be so lucky.
As the days go by, there are times I forget about the tumor freeloading in my brain. Life can seem fairly normal and I feel pretty good at times. The worst part is remembering that it is there and that life as I know it will never be the same. This goddamn Corona pandemic just makes everything worse. Concerts and live music is probably what I miss the most. I better live long enough to be able to go to one more Gov’t Mule show. Tears well up in my eyes when I think of all the stuff I used to enjoy and that I may not live long enough to experience them again when this pandemic subsides. But for now, I’ll keep kicking, clawing and fighting for more days.